Me: Mom, do you think it would be funny if I instagramed a photo of a ouija board and captioned it "trying to wish dad a happy fathers day."
Mom: no
posted 4 days ago on @11: 07 am / 4 notes

I'M HILARIOUS text fathers day

I’m almost in tears right now. Thank you so much, Hayley. It turns out I have a blood clot in my left lung. It’s probably from my birth control. I have to stay in the hospital over night. I’m pretty scared since nothing like this has ever happened to me before. Thanks so much everyone!

posted 2 weeks ago on @18: 35 pm / 91 notes

yelyahwilliams text homewrecked letsgetreadytotumblr i posted this on my recipe blog by mistake omg

Had to go to the urgent care last night due to breathing issues and chest pain along with a fever (I’ve had the breathing issues/chest pain for a couple of days). Did X-rays and they found a spot on my left lung. Sent me home saying I probably have pleurisy and if the pain got worse to go to the ER. I woke up this morning and cough up a bit of blood along with the pain in my left lung even worse. So now I’m at the ER waiting for blood work and hoping its nothing too bad.

posted 2 weeks ago on @12: 31 pm / 5 notes

im on my phone so i cant do read more text nothing like this has happend to me before

May the fart be with you.

posted 1 month ago on @9: 33 am / 1 note

NAILED IT i think im going crazy from all this unpacking moving boxes text

oftheocean:

wurnbo:

*raises hand in class* can i jump out the window

*teacher voice* i don’t know, can you?

posted 1 month ago on @12: 07 pm / 45,930 notes
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lol text

shnji:

I have such a problem with secondhand embarrassment that if I’m watching something and a character does something that I find even the littlest bit embarrassing I have to either mute the TV or plug my ears and avert my eyes. It makes me really anxious.

posted 2 months ago on @10: 55 am / 112,837 notes
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all the time text

stupifies:

i honestly thought that ‘the fault in our stars’ would end mid-sentence

posted 3 months ago on @17: 39 pm / 219 notes
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i always read the last word of a book before starting it so i knew it didn't but i sorta hoped it did and i just read it wrong books text the fault in our stars

marsneedswomen:

What I lack in attractiveness I make up for in film trivia

posted 3 months ago on @14: 23 pm / 31,666 notes
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text

I normally don’t complain about tumblr updates because lbr they’re never really that bad. but what is this?????????????? Where are all my saved tags? I have to type out the whole word now????

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